5 Steps for Surviving and Thriving in a Toxic Work Environment
Recently, I have been meeting with a client who works in an incredibly toxic corporate environment. She is not in a position to leave (yet), and we’ve been working through strategies to help her navigate this reality while positioning her for future success. The other day, she started our session by saying, “Jenn, how do I go from surviving to thriving?”
I loved the reframe, because you don’t just have to survive in a toxic environment, with the right mindset and strategies, you can put yourself in a position to thrive.
Story Time: I’ve Been There & It Sucks
In 2017, my former employer was purchased by a supplier we had fired. The company went from a supportive environment and amazing place to work, to relatively toxic overnight. Despite the downward turn, I still felt as if I had opportunities to grow, develop and get promoted, so I stuck it out. Even as all my peers started jumping ship.
After 10 months of the downward culture spiral and having promised opportunities and promotions ripped out from beneath me, I was at the lowest of lows in my career. I lost all confidence, depressed, and burnt out. Despite all the red flags, it wasn’t until I had an emotional breakdown in my boss’ office one day that I realized I couldn’t keep going at the pace I was going, yet I wasn’t in the position to leave.
As much as I wanted to bolt, I made the choice to stay in that toxic corporate environment while I pursued my professional coaching certification. Over the next eight months, I slowly reclaimed my power, and more importantly my identity. By the time I left, I was in a much better headspace, had been promoted, and was generally thriving, even though the toxicity only got worse.
Since transitioning to full-time coaching in 2019, I’ve supported numerous individuals facing similar struggles. And, as much as these clints have thrown their hands up in frustration and exclaimed, “maybe I should just quit!” The reality of needing a steady paycheck, health insurance, and the time required to secure new employment often complicates this decision.
And I don’t want to sugarcoat the impact of staying in a toxic environment. Those 18-months of “corporate hell” led to relationship issues with my husband, strained friendships, and health issues – some of which I’m still dealing with today.
There are times when leaving is the right choice. This article, and the following 5 steps, are to support you if you can’t.
Step 1: Shift Out of Your Stress Reaction
It wasn’t until the first module of my coaching program, when I learned about iPEC’s Energy Leadership Model, that I realized two things:
I was living in a stress reaction.
I had a choice, and control over how I reacted and responded to my environment.
When it comes to navigating a toxic work environment, one of the best things you can do is realize that you have a choice, and you have the power to shift out of your stress reaction.
Now, let me make something clear: shifting out of your stress reaction doesn’t mean you’ll move from “I’m overwhelmed” to “everything is perfect,” but rather to a state where you can tolerate and manage the situation. In the energy leadership model, this means shifting out of levels one and two, and into level 3 which is categorized as “it’s fine.” It’s not great, but it also doesn’t suck. And once you realize that you’re safe, or ‘fine,’ you can effectively start to reclaim yourself, your energy, and your power.
Here are a few additional tips to help you shift out of your stress reaction:
Lean into your power of choice, and the things you do have control over. While you don’t have control over your environment, you do have control over how you react and respond. If you start to feel yourself getting trigged, take a breath, and ask yourself “How can I react or respond in a way that would make me feel better, or proud?”
Mindful breathing. Studies have shown that just three minutes of intentional breathing can have physiological benefits on our bodies and brains and can help us shift from a sympathetic (fight or flight) state to a parasympathetic (rest and digest) state.
Increase your emotional awareness. Understanding your emotions and their triggers can significantly impact how you handle a toxic work environment. This can involve working with a therapist or using self-help tools to increase your emotional intelligence. Check out this blog for more about this, along with a few tools that you could leverage.
Here are two of my favorite guided mindfulness practices that are specific to stress management. Each are less than 4 minutes!
Step 2: Re-Prioritize Yourself & Secure Quick Energetic Wins
When you’re stuck in a toxic environment, or experiencing chronic stress and burnout, re-prioritizing yourself and securing quick energetic wins is crucial. This goes together with Step 1 and is a powerful way to lean into the power of choice and “make things okay.”
Here are just a few examples that have helped my clients reclaim their energy, and their sanity:
Practice Gratitude. Toxic environments, chronic stress and burnout lead to isolation and loneliness. One of the easiest ways to realize that we have support is to practice gratitude. At least once a day, take time to write down 1-3 things or people that you’re grateful for. When I did this exercise, I realized that my administrative assistant was going above and beyond to support me. While I always knew she was awesome, it wasn’t until I journaled about why I was grateful for her that I realized she was one of the main reasons I was still surviving at that company.
Celebrate Themselves. Another result of toxic environments, chronic stress and burnout is low self esteem and confidence. The constant state of not feeling good enough or like a failure can take a toll on our emotional health and general self-awareness. By identifying at least one thing every day that they are proud of themselves for, or one reason that they are worth celebrating, my clients have been able to reclaim their self-identity and confidence.
Create Moments of Joy. A client favorite is the “Moment of Joy” exercise. Each day, they answer the question: “What is one thing I will do for myself today?” This exercise gives them permission to choose and prioritize something that brings them joy or boosts their energy. If you’re not sure how to answer this question, consider making a list of micro-energy boosters. This can be anything from petting your dog, to drinking tea out of your favorite mug, or planning a weekend getaway. When creating your list, aim for at least 15-20 bite-sized activities that are easy to incorporate into even your busiest days.
Step 3: Adjust Your Expectations & Redefine Success
One of my most repeated Brene Brown quotes is “Frustration and disappointment are the direct result of unmet expectations.”
The reality is that our personal expectations are adding to the toxicity and strain. By accepting your reality, adjusting your expectations to be ‘what is’ rather than ‘what you think it should be,’ and redefining your personal definition of success to what’s possible within the constraints of your environment you can empower yourself to thrive.
One of my favorite examples of this is of my client SL, a Senior Director of Technology at a global financial services company. SL’s company culture was generally fine, but their boss JJ was awful. JJ was a micro-manager, undermined all of SL’s decisions, regularly threw members of his team under the bus, interrupted people, pretended past conversations never happened, and more. After a 360-review where he received less than stellar feedback, he began interrogating team members to identify who said what and went to great lengths to find out why they were salty, rather than accepting the feedback or taking accountability for his actions. To put it nicely, he was a terrible leader.
Understandably, many of my sessions with SL resulted in them venting about the latest and greatest thing JJ did. During one session, when SL started in with, “A good boss would…” I stopped them. Fairly bluntly, I said “SL – we know that JJ is not a good boss. Why do you keep expecting him to do things that a good boss would do?” That stopped them in their tracks.
I asked SL, for one week, to adjust their expectations to reality. We turned it into a game. I had SL list out all the known behaviors and tendencies that made JJ a terrible boss and turn it into a bingo card.
The following week, I asked her how it went. SL was shocked. They said, “I was amazed how quickly I was able to shake off some of the crazy things he did because I was expecting him to do them. Instead of getting frustrated, I just laughed to myself as I checked off a box on my bingo card.” SL continued to say, “I also adjusted my approach to meetings that I knew JJ would be attending, to accommodate his known behaviors. Rather than getting frustrated that he was using valuable time, I built buffer time into the agenda so we could still cover off on the most important topics.”
Note: Adjusting expectations to reality is one of the hardest things for my clients to do. We often spend many sessions building the appropriate awareness required to fully accept, without judgement, their reality. I share this because I want you to realize that while this step is incredibly empowering, it also takes some deep work and self-awareness. If you need support, please don’t hesitate to reach out. You don’t have to do this alone.
Step 4: Create a Success-Exit Plan
This is one of my favorite exercises to do with my clients. If leaving your company or role is part of your strategy, creating what I like to call a “Success Exit Plan” helps you define the milestones you’d like to achieve while still in your current role, and the steps you need to take before leaving. This plan will help you transition smoothly when the time is right.
Here are a few tips to help you build this plan:
Grab a piece of paper and create two columns. Column one is “Success at Work” and Column two is “Exit Plan”
Don’t make either list too long or overwhelming. I encourage my clients to keep each column to 4-6 items. This forces them to truly identify the most important milestones without getting weighted down by the daily “to-do” list.
For the “Success at Work” column, focus on the things that will make you feel comfortable leaving, and try to identify items that are within your immediate control. While you might want to get promoted, that’s not necessarily in your control. Things like driving a project to completion, creating process documentation to guide others after you’ve left, and grooming your replacement, are within your control.
For the “Exit Plan” column, there are things that everyone needs to do like update their LinkedIn profiles, resumes etc. Those are tactical ‘to do’ list items. If you want them on your exit plan, have at it, but I’d also encourage you to focus on bigger things, like certifications, financial savings, health insurance, or anything else that you can obtain, grow, or research while you’re still receiving a steady paycheck.
If you’re not sure what you want your next role to be, or you’re incredibly burnt out, creating this plan can be difficult. If you know you want to escape, but you’re struggling with the idea of quitting, or you’re not sure what your next move looks like, consider:
Reading this blog: Quitting isn’t giving up on your past. It’s investing in your future.
Reading this blog: How to Marie Kondo Your Career
Identify your core values. Knowing your non-negotiable core values can help you establish boundaries, identify roles and industries that align with the things you care about. A free values assessment is available on my resources page.
Step 5: Build a Support Network
I know firsthand how hard navigating a toxic environment is alone. I wasn’t aware of the power of coaching until I decided to pursue it as a career. Until I partnered with a professional coach, I aired my dirty laundry on anyone that would listen, friends, family, peers, my husband. It wasn’t fair to them, and it didn’t help me.
Partnering with a coach gave me the space to safely work through the thoughts, feelings and emotions that resulted from the toxic work environment, develop an exit strategy, and address my relationship with money which was a key thing holding me back from quitting my corporate job and becoming a full-time professional coach.
If you have the means to hire a professional coach, or your company has a leadership development budget, I’d strongly encourage you to consider coaching to help you navigate this process. Your support network can also include therapists, mentors, peers or friends who are able to help you productively navigate the challenges you are facing.
Final Thoughts
Staying in a toxic work environment isn’t easy, but with the right strategies, you can protect your well-being and maintain your energy until you’re ready to move on. By shifting your stress response, re-prioritizing yourself, understanding your emotions, redefining success, and planning your exit strategy, you can navigate this challenging period with resilience and clarity.
Remember: Small, consistent, steps can lead to significant improvements in your overall well-being.
Finally, you don’t have to do this alone.
If you found this article helpful, and are interested in receiving additional resources to help you become a more impactful leader, please consider subscribing to my newsletter, and connecting with me on social media: LinkedIn, Instagram, and Pinterest. Ready to put these theories into practice and invest in your future? Book a complimentary exploration session with Jenn Masse, an ICF Certified Mindful Leadership Coach here!