Quitting isn't giving up on your past. It's investing in your future.
Raise your hand if you have ever stuck with something for too long because you didn’t want to quit.
Was it because you felt like you were in too deep and you couldn’t walk away because you owed it to yourself to see “it” through. Was it because walking away would make your last 1-5-10-20 years feel like a waste. Or was it because of all that schooling, time studying for that exam, time vested at a company, or because you’re “this” close to your next promotion, that you feel like it would be too hard to start over now?
As a former accountant, I have a lot of peers who are Certified Public Accountants (CPA). Most passed the exam within a few years of graduating from college, over a decade ago. For the non-accountants out there, let me put the CPA exam in perspective for you. It’s hell. It is a four-part exam that eats your soul. It is nearly impossible to pass all four sections on the first try, and you only have 18 months from the time you pass your first section to pass the remaining three. If you don’t, you lose the first one and have to retake the exam. Being fully transparent and candid, I am GRATEFUL that I failed all four sections the first time. It saved me from getting sucked into the 3-5 year period of hell that many of my peers faced as they passed, and then failed and then lost sections and then passed again.
I am also insanely proud of my friends who showed resiliency, stuck it out, and passed because it helped them get promoted quicker and have access to better raises, opportunities, etc. That said, at this point in our careers, only a few of my CPA peers are still practicing.
The rest have shifted their focus and careers into industries and roles where the CPA license is no longer relevant, and in some instances, where they have to explain what those three letters mean! Many have adamantly stated that they would never go back to an accounting or finance role, yet, they keep their CPA license current. They complain about paying for the required continuing professional education credits out of pocket and complain about having to spend the required 40 hours a year on them. Yet, they are not willing to, or choosing to, walk away from doing so, because it would feel like they are quitting on themselves. That they are turning their back on those years of grueling hell that they spent studying for, and finally passing that exam.
Why is this?
I believe it is because we associate our identity with what we do rather than who we are. As children, we are asked what we want to be when we grow up. In college, we are asked what we are studying and what line of work we want to get into. When we start our careers, we align ourselves to the image of that career and focus on what certifications we need to be successful. We start to allow our “what” (accountant) to determine our “who” rather than allowing our “who” to determine “what” we do.
What if we took a step back and reversed that equation? What if we focused on who we are, and allowed the things that make us unique and our passions to shape who we become?
Let’s use my peers as an example. The non-practicing accountants who still keep their CPA license current. Who are they at their core? What makes them unique? What skills or traits do they have that others may not? Well, at a base layer, most accounts are skilled in critical thinking, have high attention to detail, are insanely organized, and like things that are black and white. If you were to step out a bit farther to look at their who, their softer side, they can be anyone. I look at my peers and they are kind, creative, passionate, quiet, outgoing, dedicated, caring, thorough, artistic, etc – the list goes on.
When these peers are focusing on who they are now and doing the things that bring them the most joy (being artistic and playing with their dogs, as an example), they are happy and energetic. A complete contradiction to the energy and emotions that they have when they are trying to keep their old who (the CPA) alive.
Embracing Change
Growth and change are important. In fact, I’d argue that change is the only constant in our lives. Embracing change allows for growth. It allows us to seamlessly end one chapter while we transition into a new one.
Let’s look at my story: At the time I’m writing this blog, I am 33, I am a full-time Certified Mindset and Energy Leadership Coach and I love hiking. When I was 23, I worked at a public accounting firm and I was learning how to run as a way to lose weight and avoid studying for the CPA exam. [This may be why I failed! 😉] When I was 13, I was in 9th grade and one hell of a softball player. When I was 3 I was learning how to form sentences and wetting the bed.
Between all those decades were myriad interests that came and went with the passing of the wind. If I zoomed in on random years, each had its own flavor. When I was 32 I was in a strategic sales/business development role and starting to feel burnt out with running and my career. When I was 28, I was 20lbs lighter, in an internal audit role, love international travel, and had just run my first marathon.
Every step along my journey has shaped me into who I am and has taught me things that I love (being outside, inspiring others, writing, strategic thinking) and things that I don’t (sitting at a desk, doing the dishes, staying awake past 9).
Writing a new chapter
As kids, we change our interests without hesitation. Even now, there are likely aspects of our lives that we change without hesitation. Why not apply that same freedom to our careers and hobbies?
Rather than thinking about it as starting over, let’s think of it as starting fresh with 1-5-10-20+ years of additional experience and life lessons. Rather than thinking of walking away from something as quitting, let’s think of it as ending a chapter that no longer serves us so that we can invest our time and energy into a new chapter filled with joy, fulfillment, and happiness.
What chapter in your life is draining your energy or no longer serving you? What would it mean to you to end that chapter? What would it mean to you if you could invest your time and energy into a new chapter filled with things you love? What behaviors, thought patterns and old ‘rules’ do you have to address so you can start living life on your terms?
What would it mean to you to start fresh? What would it mean to truly let go and invest in your future?