Is your mindset limiting the benefits of gratitude?
I wholeheartedly believe in the practice of gratitude. In fact, last week, I chatted about the benefits I experienced from keeping a gratitude journal.
That said, I also feel the need to expand on the topic of gratitude, to discuss why we should be cautious about the mindset that we approach gratitude with; about ensuring that we don’t allow our practice of gratitude holding us back from achieving or wanting more.
If we practice gratitude with a scarcity mindset, we will hoard the goodness and it will stunt our growth and limit the impact we can have on others. If we practice gratitude with an abundance mindset, it will lead to a much greater and more powerful experience.
Here is my story, and here is why I believe that this is very important topic to talk about.
I have lived a very good life. I have been given many opportunities that others may not have received, and for that, I am incredibly grateful. I am grateful that I grew up in a good neighborhood and received a good education from a young age. I’m grateful that my parents have been involved and supportive over the course of my life. I’m grateful that I graduated from college with a job and without a penny of debt. I’m grateful that I had a steady job that paid the bills, allowed for personal and professional growth, and allowed me to spend money freely. I’m grateful that my husband is incredibly supportive and that we’re like-minded (enough) that we can have very open and honest conversations with each other about our hopes, dreams, desires, and finances. Sure, there have been hiccups along the way, and not everything has been easy, but – in the grand scheme of things, I can take a step back and recognize that things have been pretty darn good. (Okay, things have been pretty darn great.)
So great, in fact, that I felt like I was being selfish for wanting more. While I wasn’t happy or fulfilled by my corporate job, wanted more growth personally and professionally, and wanted to directly help others – I had a good gig. I had a steady paycheck, they paid for me to go back to school to receive my MBA, my hours were flexible, I could work from home when I wanted, my co-workers were some of my closest friends, I had a free gym in the basement, and was making more money than most of my peers. I was grateful for all of this. And because I was grateful, I was frozen. I’d ask questions like “Shouldn’t I be happy with what I have?” or “Do I really need more?” or “You worked so hard for this, your parents worked so hard for this. You’re really going to just walk away?” or “You have so much to be grateful for, are you willing to risk giving it all up?”
When I began vocalizing my desire to explore doing a complete career shift and transitioning into coaching full-time, I was reminded of how lucky I was. While people were trying to be helpful, they would tell me to consider everything I’d be giving up. They would tell me not to take my cush life for granted. Again, people were trying to be helpful, but their questions instilled more doubt into me. They validated my concerns, fueled my gremlin / inner critic that was already telling me that I wasn’t worthy of greater, validated the voice that was telling me that I should be happy and grateful for what I have.
It wasn’t until I truly took time to step away from the noise and truly reflect, that I realized that I was using gratitude to rationalize my life. I was using gratitude to keep me safe, to keep my life status quo. I was afraid that if I made a change, I would lose it all. I was using gratitude as an excuse to approach life with a scarcity mindset, instead of an abundance mindset.
Here’s the thing, you CAN be grateful and still want more from life. You just have to choose to approach life with an abundance mindset instead of a scarcity mindset. As soon as you choose to use gratitude and everything, you’re grateful for to fuel your growth, your life becomes limitless.
Let me quickly explain/give an example of having gratitude with a scarcity mindset versus an abundance mindset. This is a real example from when I first started to think about quitting my job and dipping into my savings account (which caused a lot of anxiety attacks) to when I finally shifted to a place of abundance (which led to a lot of excitement about my next chapter.)
Scarcity: I am grateful that I have a healthy amount in my savings account. I have worked so hard for this money, saving from the time I was a kid, working my way through college, putting away a minimum of 10% of my paycheck every year, not touching it except to buy big-ticket items like my house or my car. This money is only for emergencies. If I career shift and start my own business, not only will I not be contributing to this balance, but I’ll be taking from it, every month, for at least two years. I should be grateful that I have a job that allows me to grow this balance, that I can rely on it if there is an emergency. If I quit and start a business, I may bleed this balance dry, I may be stuck if there is an emergency, it’s too risky and I’d be giving up too much.
Abundance: I am grateful that I have a healthy amount in my savings account. I have worked so hard for this money, saving from the time I was a kid, working my way through college, putting away a minimum of 10% of my paycheck every year, not touching it except to buy big-ticket items like my house or my car. Because I have worked so hard to build this balance, I have the opportunity to walk away from my steady paycheck and a corporate job. Yes, there will likely be two years that I will not be contributing to the balance and I’ll have to take money out on a monthly basis, but I am grateful that I am in the position to do this. I am grateful that because I’ve worked my entire life to ensure this financial security, that I can make this leap and truly see where this new career will take me. I can take this leap and start a career where I can have a direct impact on the lives of others, where I can share my gift and inspire and empower women to rise up and live greater.
The reason that I wanted to discuss this concept after last week’s post is that gratitude has many benefits. When we’re feeling alone, when we’re feeling lost, gratitude can provide us with hope and direction. It can start to show us light where we only saw darkness. However, when gratitude is combined with a scarcity mindset, it beings to hold us back out of fear of losing what we currently have.
Gratitude is a powerful practice, but, with all power, comes responsibility. I believe that it is our responsibility to practice gratitude with an abundance mindset, to propel us forward, to use it to empower and inspire others to do the same.
I truly believe that the world would be a better place if everyone in this world began to (a) practice gratitude and (b) approached gratitude with an abundance mindset. The practice of gratitude allows us to see that we have fortune in certain areas of our lives, and because we are fortunate, we can do what others cannot. Let’s not waste the opportunity to do more because we are afraid of offending those less fortunate, let’s seize the opportunity to utilize what we have to create a world filled with abundance. To share our gifts, to take chances, to give, to inspire, to empower, to volunteer, to help, to teach, to love.
Let’s use gratitude to propel us forward to a life full of possibilities, to a life filled with abundance, to a life of greatness.