The Benefits of Keeping a Gratitude Journal
With Thanksgiving only a few days away, it is only fitting to talk about gratitude.
Around this time last year, I made it my New Year’s Resolution to keep a gratitude diary. I was at a pretty low point in my life on the happiness scale, just biding my time until I was done with my coaching program and had saved up enough money to quit my job. With everything happening at work, between a declining culture, my friends slowly leaving, a never-ending to-do list and a boss who didn’t seem invested in my professional growth, I felt like I was alone. Like no one was on my team. I was officially burnt out. This unfortunately spilled over into my home life. I gave up on myself. I stopped working out. I stopped eating well. I passed the blame and stress onto my husband. It wasn’t pretty.
I had just started my coaching program, which gave me a shed of hope. In the first module, we talked about the power of keeping a gratitude diary. I had heard it before and even had Janice Kaplan’s The Gratitude Diaries sitting on my bookshelf, unread and collecting dust, but, for some reason, this time it resonated. Maybe I was just looking for a sliver of hope.
My gratitude journal. It says “It is written in the stars.”
Over Christmas break, I pulled out that book and read it cover to cover and decided that it was worth a shot. I knew deep down I had a good life and things were going my way, and I knew that it was up to me to shift myself out of the rut that I was living in.
So, on January 1st, after sitting on my couch and watching the mummers parade all day, I took out my gratitude diary for the first time, and this is what I wrote:
As I move into 2019, I am setting my sights on living with intention, being more mindful, and practicing kindness for myself and others. The practice of being kind to myself will definitely be the bigger challenge, we are our own toughest critics after all. So, with my intentions set, and an opportunity to start fresh, my journey with this gratitude diary and compliment journal begin.
With the goal of creating a habit, my resolution was to write in my journal a minimum of 5 days a week and to capture 2-3 things I was grateful for, and 1-2 things I was proud of myself for. For me, this was more than a practice of gratitude, it was also a practice of self-love. For if we are not grateful for ourselves, we will always be reliant on the help of others.
Here is what I learned:
What they say is true. Keeping a gratitude diary really does increase your positivity, improves your self-esteem, helps you sleep better (quiets the monkey mind), improves your mood, and reduces your overall stress levels.
In the beginning, it was hard, and almost felt superficial, but in time, the journal became a lot more meaningful. The journal really allowed me to reflect on why I was grateful for certain things. Here’s an example from February 14th. Rather than saying “I’m grateful that my friend Sara is back in my life.”
Sara and me on a trip to Poland, 2003
“Today, I am grateful and thankful that Sara and I reconnected after nearly a decade of being apart. I am incredibly grateful that her mom encouraged her to google me and search for me on social media. I had always felt like a piece of me was missing without her in my life, and now, here I am, sitting in her cozy living room in Asheville, NC for the second time in two years, drinking a cup of tea watching her daughter play with her dolls. I feel whole again.”
The same comment rings true for having deeper reflection on being proud of myself. This journal allowed me to see that I was braver, stronger and more courageous than I thought. It allowed to recognize when I chose to take control, it also allowed me to celebrate little wins like putting the dishes away or getting back on track with my workout routine. Here’s a fun one from March 10th
“I am also proud of myself for remembering that through it all, I need to live my purpose and that I am a fire that can’t be put out.”
Daily, even 5 days a week, while achievable became hard and I fell off the consistency wagon after 5-months. I also insisted on using a certain pen, so it threw a real damper in my routine when I lost it! (I have since transitioned into a different type of journaling where I can write freely about my thoughts and feelings, but I do randomly feel the urge to pick this journal back up and write about what I am grateful for in my life at that moment.)
I became happier and in control of my emotions. I realized that there were things to be grateful for, things to be celebrated daily.
I became more appreciative of others. I began to recognize that people had to go out of their way or potentially give something else up to help me. There are numerous journal entries where I noted in great detail my gratitude for my administrative assistant, Lynleah, for going above and beyond and picking up my slack when mentally, I needed to step back. When she stepped up and covered for me when I took a two-week vacation, and that she was always steadfast and upbeat no matter what came our way. [don’t worry, I told her in person too!]
I became better at communicating my appreciation for others. Going beyond the “Thank You.” This helped me become a better boss, a better leader, a better friend, a better wife.
As I began to acknowledge things in my life that I was proud of, I increased my energy levels. It felt good to take control and to acknowledge my worth, and the more I did it, the more wanted to do more of it. I connected with others. I started working out again. I became more present. I dropped my judgment and just enjoyed the moment for what it was.
As I wrote this post, I was reminded of all the benefits that I personally experienced while I kept my journal. I enjoyed flipping back through my entries, and this excerpt from an entry on August 26th sums it up perfectly.
“Today I am grateful that I took the initiative to dig this journal back out. I am deeply moved reading some of my past entries and remembering how difficult it was to find gratitude on some days, yet incredibly easy on other days. I am grateful for the power of journaling and self-reflection, and the time that this provides me to be alone in my thoughts, reflecting on all the good in my life.”
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