As a Mindful Leadership Coach, it’s common for new clients to tell me that they want to improve their leadership skills and become better leaders. Now, this means something different for everyone, but typically, when I drill down further the following themes usually emerge:

Effective Communication
Improved Self-confidence
Empowering their Teams
Time and Stress Management
The Ability to Inspire and Influence

This article is going to focus on the last theme - the ability to influence people, situations, and outcomes.

The ability to organize people behind an idea, inspire change, and motivate your team to act is invaluable. While some people may naturally have what it takes to inspire and lead others, everyone can develop the skills required to become an Influential Leader.

What Makes an Influential Leader?

This is a question I’m often asked, and frankly, it’s hard to answer - because the definition is different for everyone. What inspires one person into action might not inspire another. So, while I’ll review some common traits of Influential Leaders in a moment, I’d first like you to take a moment and consider people in your life who have influenced or inspired you.

Think of the most influential people in your life. Teachers, bosses, parents, or peers who inspired you to become a better person or helped shape who you are today. Social media influencers that you find yourself nodding along to, or that have inspired you to purchase a product, change a habit, or consider a new career. What, why, or how did these individuals influence your goals, behaviors, or mindset?

A common limiting belief that I work through with my clients is that by influencing others, they will be perceived as controlling or manipulative. That the power of influence will somehow strip away their humanity and turn them into an evil being that everyone hates. However, when I ask them “What, why, or how did the most influential people in your life influence your goals, behaviors, or mindset?” their responses rarely - if ever - include words like “with force”, “inauthentically”, or “through bullying.”

Rather, my clients often state that the most influential leaders they know are instead authentic, patient, vulnerable, passionate, and relatable. They have that kind of energy that makes you think “Yea! I want what they are having!”

So, what does it take to be an influential leader?

Here are the eight key strengths that Influential Leaders have according to Gallup’s Clifton Strengths Assessment:

Activator: People exceptionally talented in the Activator theme can make things happen by turning thoughts into action. They want to do things now, rather than simply talking about them.
Command: People exceptionally talented in the Command theme have a presence. They can take control of a situation and make decisions.
Communication: People exceptionally talented in the Communication theme generally find it easy to put their thoughts into words. They are good conversationalists and presenters.
Competition: People exceptionally talented in the Competition theme measure their progress against the performance of others. They strive to win first place and revel in contests.
Maximizer: People exceptionally talented in the Maximizer theme focus on strengths to stimulate personal and group excellence. They seek to transform something strong into something superb.
Self-Assurance: People exceptionally talented in the Self-Assurance theme feel confident in their ability to take risks and manage their own lives. They have an inner compass that gives them certainty in their decisions.
Significance: People exceptionally talented in the Significance theme want to make a big impact. They are independent and prioritize projects based on how much influence they will have on their organization or the people around them.
Woo: People exceptionally talented in the Woo theme love the challenge of meeting new people and winning them over. They derive satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection with someone.

This article focuses on Self-Assurance, Command and, Communication.

Why? Because I’ve coached over one hundred leaders and time and time again, the leaders who want to improve their ability to influence tell me later that it was the development of the following three strengths that had the greatest impact.

Self-Assurance

AKA, the antithesis of Imposter Syndrome. Leaders seeking to enhance their ability to influence need to first seek to improve their self-confidence and their ability to self-promote. Why? Because if you’re not comfortable with calling attention to yourself, then how can you expect to effectively advocate for and confidently promote your team? If you’re questioning yourself, your value, your worth, or your decisions, your team and the rest of the organization will too.

Self-assurance serves as a foundation for effective leadership, enabling individuals to exude confidence in their decisions and actions, thereby inspiring trust and respect among their team members and stakeholders. By cultivating a strong sense of self-assurance, leaders can navigate challenges with poise and conviction, fostering an environment conducive to growth and innovation. In essence, self-assurance empowers leaders to authentically communicate their vision, garner support, and drive meaningful change within their organization.

To improve your self-assurance and confidence as a leader, it is essential to prioritize self-awareness and reflection. Taking the time to understand your strengths, values, and areas for growth lays the groundwork for building confidence and resilience. Embracing failure as an opportunity for learning rather than as a setback is also crucial in fostering self-assurance. By reframing setbacks as lessons and stepping-stones to success, leaders can maintain a positive mindset and remain steadfast in their pursuit of goals.

Here are few tips on how to improve your confidence:

Keep a celebration journal. This is my #1 piece of advice for anyone actively trying to improve their confidence. Every day, write down one thing you’d like to celebrate about yourself, or at least one reason why you’re proud of yourself. This is the first step to strengthening your self-assurance muscle and will ultimately make things like receiving compliments and calling attention to your team’s successes easier.
Reflect on the value you provide as a leader. After each day, take 10-15 minutes to journal on this topic, by answering questions like:
- How did I help or support someone today?
- What were the most valuable things I spent my time on today? (& why?)
- What positive impact did, or will, I have because of my actions today?
- What compliments or signs of gratitude did I receive today?
Seek regular feedback from peers, mentors, and team members to gain valuable insights for self-improvement and for validation of the value you provide. When seeking feedback, be clear and direct in your request. The more specific you can be about what you want them to comment on, the more likely it is that you’ll get a productive and useful response. Example: “In your opinion, what are my top strengths?” followed by, “will you also provide examples of where you see me leveraging them?”
Practice assertive communication techniques and body language, such as maintaining eye contact, utilizing confident posture, speaking with clarity and conviction, and taking up space in a meeting.
Invest in ongoing personal and professional development. Attending workshops, hiring a coach, and investing in self-directed learning, demonstrates a commitment to growth and instills a sense of mastery that enhances your self-assurance over time.

Command

True leadership is more than an exercise of power and authority. It’s about guiding, inspiring, and empowering others to achieve their fullest potential. According to Gallup, leaders with the 'Command' strength exhibit a natural ability to take charge in challenging situations. They aren’t deterred by uncertainty or opposition; instead, they rise to the occasion, providing direction and stability when it is most needed. This strength is about being a beacon of confidence, not just for oneself but for the entire team. It involves a delicate balance of assertiveness and empathy, ensuring that while a leader is decisive, they are also in touch with the needs and concerns of their team.

When I work with clients on developing their ability to command, the first step is to break down all pre-conceived notions and limiting beliefs around the word “command” itself. Often misunderstood, or associated with authoritarianism, dictatorship, and imposing, my clients’ biggest fear around taking command is that they will be seen as a b*tch, or a jacka**. My clients fear that by becoming more assertive and directive, that they’ll be hated or loathed by their teams.

But, the truth, is that leaders with strong command are also seen as reliable and trustworthy. Their ability to communicate a clear vision, having the confidence to make tough decisions, the ability to communicate effectively, and the self-assurance that comes with knowing that you, as a leader, can trust and navigate your team through anything.

Being confident in yourself (see self-assurance above), and your decisions is a vital aspect of this strength. It requires a deep understanding of the situation at hand, a thorough assessment of the available options, and the foresight to anticipate the outcomes of each decision. This kind of confidence is infectious; it inspires trust and respect among team members, fostering a culture where everyone feels secure and supported.

When team members trust their leader, they are more likely to be open to influence, accept guidance, and embrace the vision set forth by the leader. Said simply, the secret to influencing and “commanding” your team with ease is having self-confidence, confidence in your team, and taking time to build and earn the trust of your team.

Communication

Effective communication stands as a cornerstone for enhancing one's ability to influence and inspire others. It’s not just about issuing orders or directives; it's about articulating visions, strategies, and expectations in a way that is both understandable and motivating.

As Brene Brown says, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” This means, that as a leader, it is your responsibility to communicate your vision and expectations clearly, *and* to encourage your team to communicate openly and honestly with you. This means leaving judgment at the door, removing assumptions or stories, sticking to facts, and asking questions to ensure that nothing is left up to interpretation or question.

Effective communication also means recognizing and leveraging individual strengths in communication styles to amplify your impact as a leader. Whether through articulate verbal expression, empathetic listening, or strategic storytelling, communication fosters understanding, builds trust, and cultivates meaningful connections with team members and stakeholders alike. By prioritizing clear and intentional communication, mindful leaders can navigate complex situations, align diverse perspectives, and ultimately drive positive outcomes within their organizations.

Here are a few tips to help you improve your communication skills:

Actively Listening: Give your full attention to others when they speak and give them a safe space to feel heard. This means not interrupting, inserting your story, or jumping to conclusions – it means asking questions and encouraging them to expand on their thoughts. Active listening helps you gain valuable insights and helps the other individual feel seen and heard, ultimately bolstering their confidence and sense of self-worth. Simon Sinek is an industry leader on this topic, here’s a great video on the Art of Listening.
Paint Done: Hands down, this is my favorite communication tool. It comes from Brene Brown’s Dare to Lead book. Brown explains that painting done means not just assigning a task, but explaining the reason for the task, and clarifying how the final product will be used. It’s about providing additional color and context, beyond the basic mechanics, to ensure that expectations are aligned and that there is a deeper understanding of what, and why, the task is being completed. Paint done helps uncover hidden expectations and intentions, cultivates commitment and contribution, and facilitates growth and learning. Read the caption on this post for more information on this tool.
TASC (The Accountability and Success Checklist): Another tool from Brene Brown’s Dare to Lead book, this checklist is a great way to recap meetings to ensure that everyone is crystal clear on the next steps, ownership, timelines, and what’s required to succeed.

T – Who owns the task?
A – Do they have the authority to be held accountable?
S – Do we agree that they are set up for success (time, resources, clarity)?
C – Do we have a checklist of what needs to happen to accomplish the task?

Have Empathy: If you want to be heard, then you must take time to understand and share the feelings of others. This builds trust and demonstrates that you value your team members, not just for their work but also as individuals. It also allows you to meet them where they are, so that they can hear what you’re saying if you’re delivering a difficult message. This 3-minute clip is my favorite explanation of empathy, narrated by Brene Brown.
Say Less: This is one thing the Gen-Zers got right. It’s why asking questions is the #1 skill I highlighted in my previous blog post on how to become a coaching leader. Asking questions ensures that when you’re working with your team, you’re digging deeper, helping them communicate broadly and clearly, and ultimately, able to support them with the actual challenge they have – not the surface-level one they communicated initially.

Lastly, when it comes to influence, storytelling is a powerful communication tool that captivates audiences, evokes emotions, and conveys concepts in an interesting & compelling manner. By weaving narratives that resonate with shared values and aspirations, mindful leaders can inspire action, foster engagement, and mobilize their teams toward a common goal.

Final Thoughts

The ability to influence effectively is both an art and a science. It goes beyond positional authority and into the realm of personal impact and connection. The strengths I discussed above are not just about managing people, but about inspiring and engaging with them on a deeper level.

As you work towards becoming a stronger, more influential leader, remember that consistency is key! As is your willingness to be vulnerable and adopt a growth mindset. These things are at the heart of the strengths I outlined above. If you’re worried about taking a new approach to your leadership style, don’t be afraid to quote Taylor Swift, and tell your team “I just wanted you to know, that this is me trying...” some new tools and skills, and then aim to be just 1% better every day.

Want to learn more about trying new things, building new habits, or creating sustainable behavior changes? Atomic Habits by James Clear is a must read. I recently reviewed this book, and Check out my book review of Atomic Habits here!

Working with a coach is a great way to improve your leadership skills. To learn more about working with me, or to explore additional resources that will help you become a more influential leader, please consider subscribing to my newsletter, and connecting with me on social media: LinkedIn, Instagram, and Pinterest.