February Book of the Month: Dare to Lead, by Brené Brown

If you’ve worked with me in the past, or followed me for more than a few days on social media, you likely know that I’m a huge Brené Brown junkie. Her Netflix special, The Call to Courage, inspired me to remove my vulnerability shields, face my fear of failure, and quit my corporate job so I could start my coaching practice back in 2019.

Since then, I’ve devoured many of Brown’s books, taken her Dare to Lead Training, and incorporated most of her research, concepts, tools, and resources into my coaching practice. 

I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say I discuss core concepts and tools from Dare to Lead multiple times a week, to the point that a client gifted the book to his entire staff and has been facilitating a weekly book club to discuss the various tools, theories, and implementation of key learnings.

This is why February’s Book of the Month is Brené Brown's "Dare to Lead." 

Below are Three Key Concepts from the book, and why, from a Mindful Leadership Coaching perspective, I think they are crucial skills and ideas for leaders to embrace, develop, and implement.


Key Concept #1: Armored Leadership vs Daring Leadership

 

In Dare to Lead, Brown discusses the difference between Armored Leadership and Daring Leadership.

Armored leaders are characterized by operating from a place of self-protection, and trying to maintain control. Daring Leaders, on the other hand, are characterized by removing their ego and having the courage to embrace vulnerability, openness, and uncertainty.

Why this concept resonates: I firmly believe that Mindful Leadership and Daring Leadership are closely linked and related. It’s hard to be one without the other, as both require trust, vulnerability, authenticity, and the courage to stand firm in one's values.

While Armored Leadership may offer a false sense of security and control, it ultimately leads to disconnection, stifles creativity, and prevents the growth and learning that come from facing challenges and making mistakes. As a coach, I typically see people “armoring up” when they are anticipating a stressful situation, push-back from a peer or team member, scrutiny from their peers or leadership, or a potential missed deadline or failure.

Daring Leaders inspire their teams to take risks, learn from failures, and pursue excellence with resilience and adaptability. By prioritizing authenticity over perfection, Daring Leaders believe that true leadership strength lies in the willingness to be vulnerable and the ability to foster an environment where growth, openness, empathy, and collaboration are valued above an armored and reactive approach.

Why Mindfulness Matters: At the crux of daring leadership is the idea of vulnerability. Mindful leaders can become daring leaders because they have done the inner work required to embrace and accept their vulnerabilities, effectively manage their stress and energy, remove their armor, and increase their overall capacity to navigate hard things, like fire drills, difficult conversations, or setbacks. 


Key Concept #2: Vulnerability as a Strength

The first time I even considered that vulnerability could be a strength, was when I watched Brene Brown’s Netflix special The Call to Courage in 2019. A true mind-blown moment, that left me in tears, because I realized in that moment, that it was my fear of vulnerability that was holding me back from living the life I was meant to live. Thirty-plus years of vulnerability shields were holding me back from chasing my dreams, from chasing greatness.

I went on to read Daring Greatly, Brown’s 2015 book which introduces a “transformative new vision for the way we lead, love, work, parent, and educate that teaches us the power of vulnerability.” 

Many of the key concepts that Brene introduces in Daring Greatly and reframes for leaders in Dare to Lead, stem from this quote by Theodore Roosevelt:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Daring Greatly, and Daring Leadership is not about winning or losing. It’s about courage. And, as Brown points out time and time again, “There is no courage without vulnerability. Vulnerability is not weakness. It's the ability to show up and be seen. It's the ability to be brave when you cannot control the outcome.”

As leaders, it can feel incredibly challenging to stand with integrity and fight to change old-guarded systems that are no longer sustainable or effective for today’s modern world. Especially when, at the heart of those systems, is perfectionism, fear, and the shame of making a mistake.

 

Vulnerability in the workplace could mean: 

  • Starting or participating in a tough conversation.

  • Sharing or communicating a viewpoint that differs from your team about a project or decision.

  • Admitting that you're struggling, unsure, or overwhelmed.

  • Providing difficult feedback to a direct report or colleague.

How to Create This Team Culture

If you’re looking to create a team culture that embraces vulnerability, openness, and authenticity so that team members feel safe to share their ideas and concerns, here are a few ideas:

  1. Practice vulnerability yourself! Let go of the stress associated with the need to appear infallible or like you have all the answers. The more honest you can be with your team about where you’re learning, growing, trying, and struggling, the more open and honest they will be with you.

  2. Practice active listening and empathy. Active listening will help you recognize when someone is being vulnerable with you, and empathy will help you sit with them in their discomfort, cultivate trust, and drive meaningful conversations and solutions.

  3. Embrace a growth mindset and practice accountability. Mistakes happen. Embrace owning your mistakes, learning from your missteps, and taking responsibility for your role in the situation. The moment we can move past shame and guilt is the moment we can embrace a growth mindset, and empower ourselves, and our teams, to achieve greatness.


Key Concept #3: BRAVING Trust

According to a 2022 article from Harvard Business Publishing, a high-trust organization is one in which employees feel safe to take risks, express themselves freely, and innovate. In high-trust organizations, outcomes tend to be more successful and achieved with less difficulty as a result of increased collaboration and communication among teams.

In fact, according to a Harvard Business Review article about the Neuroscience of Trust, people at high-trust companies report 74% less stress, 106% more energy at work, 50% higher productivity, 13% fewer sick days, 76% more engagement, 29% more satisfaction with their lives, and 40% less burnout than people at low-trust companies.

With these statistics, it’s no surprise that my clients regularly bring up the topic of trust. Sometimes it’s about increasing the general feeling of trust on their teams, sometimes its about rebuilding relationships after trust has been lost, other times, it’s about trusting themselves as leaders, trusting decisions, or trusting their team members to do what’s right.

The "BRAVING" framework introduced in "Dare to Lead" (Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-judgment, Generosity) serves as an amazing guide for building and maintaining trust, and is one I refer to often. The thing that I love about this framework is that it breaks down the whole “trust is earned not given” concept into seven elements that you can intentionally focus on and incorporate into your daily conversations and team dynamics.

 

The seven elements of the BRAVING trust framework are:

  • Boundaries: Setting boundaries is making clear what’s okay and what’s not okay, and why

  • Reliability: You do what you say you’ll do. At work, this means staying aware of your competencies and limitations so you don’t over promise and are able to deliver on commitments and balance competing priorities.

  • Accountability: You own your mistakes, apologize, and make amends.

  • Vault: You don’t share information or experiences that are not yours to share. I need to know that my confidences are kept and that you’re not sharing with me any information about other people that should be confidential.

  • Integrity: Choosing courage over comfort; choosing what’s right over what’s fun, fast, or easy; and practicing your values, not just professing them.

  • Non Judgment: I can ask for what I need, and you can ask for what you need. We can talk about how we feel without judgment.

  • Generosity: Extending the most generous interpretation to the intentions, words, and actions of others.

 

Here’s an example of how my client, MK, and I used this framework to navigate a difficult situation. 

As a result of a recent promotion to Senior Manager for a Global Marketing Brand, one of MK’s former peers, FP, now reported directly to MK, instead of to MK’s boss. To add to the complexity of MK establishing her role as FP’s new boss, MK and FP’s existing relationship was shaky; lacking both trust and confidence.

Despite the changed relationship and new reporting structure, FP kept emailing MK’s boss directly; without copying MK on the emails. While she knew it was more efficient for LP to reach out to her boss directly, being cut out of the conversation left MK feeling like she couldn’t properly support LP, her boss, or the ongoing projects because she was being cut out of the conversations.

Using the BRAVING trust model as our guide, MK and I worked through each element, answering the following three questions:

  • For each element, what are two behaviors that MK could personally work on to increase trust with her new report/former peer?

  • For each element, What are two behaviors that MK would like to see her new report/former peer commit to improving to increase trust?

  • For each element, what behaviors already exist that contribute to the strength of the relationship? (Aka - what, if anything is already working?)

Through this exercise, MK realized a few things:

  1. Generosity/Non-Judgement: MK extended a generous and non-judgemental perspective to the situation, and realized that LP likely wasn’t cutting her out of the conversation for any other reason than the fact that LP previously reported directly to MK’s boss; and was conditioned to go to her directly. It was understandable that LP didn’t see the need to loop MK into the conversation as she hadn’t needed to in the past.

  2. Boundary/Integrity: By staying quiet and not advocating for herself in her new role, she was enabling the situation. MK communicated to LP and her boss that she needed to be copied on correspondence as being looped into the conversations was crucial to leading the team and projects effectively.

  3. Accountability: After communicating the new boundary around communication, it was up to MK to honor that boundary and hold LP and her boss accountable for respecting the new reporting structure.

A few weeks after MK and I worked through this exercise, I checked in with her to see how things were going. MK was thrilled to report that the conversations with her boss and LP went incredibly well. MK also said that she and LP actively were working through other aspects of their strained relationship using this framework and were making progress. She said that just by introducing the conversation and giving LP the space to say “hey MK, it would be great if you could do xyz to support me,” made a huge difference.


Key Concepts Not Discussed

Writing this review for Dare to Lead was difficult. Scratch that. Narrowing down the key concepts and tools from Dare to Lead into a “reasonable length” for a blog felt impossible!

In the end, I stuck with three of the concepts that I speak to most frequently because I wanted this review to go deeper than a typical book review and help you see the value and impact of becoming a Daring Leader, who sees vulnerability as a strength, and actively works towards cultivating relationships built on trust.

These are a few of the Dare to Lead concepts, tools and resources that I did not discuss in this article, but that I regularly recommend and discuss with my clients.

For more information on these concepts, I highly encourage you to read the book, the DTL website, or reach out to start a conversation. I was trained on the Dare to Lead framework in 2020, and have an in-depth understanding of skills, practices, and tools that underpin the four skill sets of courage. 


Final Thoughts

"Dare to Lead" by Brenée Brown provides a roadmap for leaders seeking to build trust through mindful leadership. By incorporating vulnerability, embracing honest conversations, and aligning actions with shared values, leaders can create an environment where team-wide trust flourishes. This trust, in turn, enhances time management, stress resilience, and energy management within the team.

Leading with courage and authenticity, daring leaders pave the way for a culture of trust that propels both individual and organizational success.

If you’re looking for more support than what a book can offer, partnering with a coach could be a great option. To learn more about working with me, or to explore additional resources that will help you become a more daring leader, please consider subscribing to my newsletter, and connecting with me on social media: LinkedIn, Instagram, and Pinterest