The Secret to Setting Yourself Up For Success In 2024 And Beyond
Story Time
The other day my friend Sarah sent me a meme about burnout. It said, “The face you make when you realize recovery time for burnout is 3-5 years, not a week in the sun sipping cocktails.”
I laughed, and responded, “I mean, a solid year would do.”
To which Sarah immediately replied, “New Year’s Resolution!!”
Being the coach that I am, I couldn’t let her get off the hook with that response, and asked, “What’s the habit that you’re resolving to do?”
After a few minutes, Sarah responded, “You know, that’s a great question. I don’t think I can accurately identify one exactly.”
And this, my friends, is why most New Year’s resolutions fail within three months. To be fair, there are a lot of reasons, far too many for me to list in this article alone, but - in my opinion, New Year’s resolutions fail for one of the following three reasons:
They’re too vague, without a tangible habit that will help you make progress.
They’re too tactical, and not grounded with broader intentions.
They’re too extreme, setting you up for failure or burnout.
Now, don’t get me wrong, resolutions can serve as great motivators those first few weeks. If you love habit trackers and checking boxes to show that you’ve done something, lean in! Some things that are intrinsic to who I am today started as New Year’s Resolutions. Like going plant-based in 2011, and walking 10k steps per day, which started as a resolution in 2021.
But, while these resolutions got me started, they didn’t keep me going. Last night, when I only had 7,000 steps at 8 pm, it was not my resolution from 2021 that motivated me to get out the door for a walk around the block, it was a deeper motivation stemming from my desire to do something that I knew would make me feel better. Mentally, physically, and emotionally.
This deeper intention is also what allowed me to take a mini break from my step streak when I was moving across the country, because at the time, not hitting 10K steps was better for me mentally, physically, and emotionally!
So, how do you set a New Year’s Resolution or create goals and habits that set you up for long-term success?
Step 1: Define Success
While this may seem easy, it’s not as straightforward as you might think.
Success is a deeply personal concept and can vary widely from person to person, and it goes far beyond achieving society’s markers of success, such as obtaining a certain title, making a certain salary, or buying a 3 bedroom house with a white picket fence. Which, candidly, are just goals and strategies to help you achieve success. These items, individually, do not define success.
True success is grounded in things that you can feel and experience, like fulfillment, happiness, joy, and gratitude. The things that intrinsically drive your deeper motivation to do, well, anything. When you sit down to define a version of success that truly inspires you, ask questions that require you to dig deeper, and truly identify your “why.”
Let’s go back to my friend Sarah for a moment. The one that wanted to set a resolution around burnout, but didn’t have a habit to back it up. If I were coaching her, I’d start to ask questions to help her define define success, which, would ultimately help her set goals and create habits to get her there.
Questions like:
If you had more energy, how would you spend your time?
If money wasn’t an issue, what would you do?
What type of activities energize you?
What are some topics/causes that you’re truly passionate about?
What are your non-negotiable core values?
Looking at an emotion wheel, which emotions would you like to feel more often?
When have you felt these emotions in the past? What were you doing, who were you with, what was the scenario?
What type of activities make you lose a complete sense of time and space?
The answers to these questions can help you start to identify key themes, emotions, and values that will ultimately become the basis of your definition of success.
Step 2: Create Tangible and Achievable Goals
Once you have a clear and inspiring definition of success, you can then establish a strategic roadmap with tangible goals that align with your values and aspirations, providing the motivation and resilience needed to overcome obstacles and achieve genuine fulfillment. For this step, I’d strongly encourage you to set both long-term and short-term goals. Especially, if you are like my friend Sarah who is struggling with burnout.
Here are a few questions that you can ask yourself to ensure that the goals you’re setting will help you achieve your definition of success:
What goals or strategies would help me achieve my definition of success?
What else could help me achieve my definition of success?
What goals would I set if I weren’t worried about what others think, or letting someone down?
How, or why, will each of these strategies help me achieve that deeper meaning and fulfillment that I’m trying to achieve? (Be specific - this will help drive the intrinsic motivation to keep moving forward when the path to achieving your goal gets tough.)
What additional training, information, resources, or support do I need to live in alignment with my vision of success?
For each of my goals:
When would I like to achieve these goals? (Short-Term / Long-Term)
What’s the basic strategy or plan of attack that will help me achieve my goals?
What’s in my direct control that I can start taking action on now?
What’s a small, trackable, habit that I can create that will help me achieve my definition of success? (See next step!)
Finally, please take time to make sure they are SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, timed). Remember - vague goals lead to vague results.
Step 3: Create Small, Trackable Habits
The final step to setting goals and resolutions that will set you up for long-term sustainable results is settling small, trackable habits, that when repeated on a daily/weekly/monthly basis, will help you achieve your goals. These habits become your resolutions!
A few tips for creating new habits:
Stack the new behavior with a current behavior. For example, if you’d like to start a gratitude journal but you know that once you step foot in the house after work you’re go-go-go until your head hits the pillow, stack the habit with your commute. Keep the journal in your car, and take a few minutes to write before starting your drive home.
Start small. In James Clear’s Atomic Habits, Clear talks about the 1% better concept. If your goal is to start speaking up in more meetings to increase visibility among the senior leadership team, don’t feel the need to jump in and start talking in EVERY meeting. Instead, consider identifying one or two key meetings that would be good starting points, and pick one or two things per meeting that you’d like to vocalize. By starting small, you’ll be more likely to take action and keep going, without burning yourself out.
Don’t overcomplicate it or look for perfection. Looking at you hyper achievers! If you’re too stringent with how you want to do your new habit, you’re setting yourself up for failure. True story, I remember when I first started my celebration journal, I committed to writing in it every night at 6:30 pm, after meditating, before dinner, and because I’m type A - I wanted to keep the journal looking nice by always writing with my black marker pen. I’m sure you can imagine that I missed a few days because those stipulations were just too much. Once I released the pressure, and let go of the silliness of doing it a certain way, it became much easier to write in my journal consistently.
Finally, as we enter the new year, remember to give yourself grace.
You’re human. We all are. If you miss a day, give yourself grace, and then get back on track. The more time you spend beating yourself up about what you didn’t do, the less time you’re spending thinking positively about what you could be doing. Take a moment to assess why you missed your habit, and if you need to make any changes moving forward, and then do just that… move forward!
Wishing you all a happy, healthy, and successful 2024. If you’d like support with defining success, setting strategic and attainable goals, or implementing new habits that will help you manage your time, stress, and energy, please don’t hesitate to explore coaching.