What will life after COVID-19 look like?
The short answer is “nobody knows.” But, one thing is clear. It will look a lot different than life before COVID-19. Why? Because a collective society cannot survive trauma as great as this one without learning, growing and changing in some capacity.
In speaking with clients and engaging with others in my network, the collective fear is that life will go back to the way that it was. That the busy will return, the obligations will return, and family dinners, inner peace, and this blissfully sweet sweatpants life will become all but a memory.
But what if you did know, with complete certainty what life after COVID-19 would look like? Sure, the specifics may be a bit fuzzy, but what if you knew that life after COVID-19 wouldn’t involve carrying a giant weight on your shoulders or living in conflict with your core values?
If you just released a giant breath, sat up a little taller, and leaned forward a bit to get closer to the computer screen, as if that will help you absorb every last speck of magical fairy dust I am about to share, you’re not alone. Nearly every time I’ve asked a client that question, they’ve had the same reaction.
Shortly after graduating college, I bought a tacky-mosaic-sign on the Jersey Shore that read “the best way to predict the future, is to create it,” a quote which has been attributed to both Abraham Lincoln and Peter Drucker.
This purchase was to upgrade the color printout of the same quote that had survived all four years in college and was, at that point, tattered and torn, hanging proudly in my cubicle at work. Over the years, this quote became synonymous with my professional career. Every time I started to question my purpose or would get pushback, I would remind myself that it was up to me to create my destiny. It was my motivation behind asking for promotions, spearheading complex projects, jumping between departments, and ultimately branching out to start my own business.
Now, more than ever, this quote rings true, but this time, on a personal level and directly related to life after COVID 19. Why? Because I know exactly what my life after COVID 19 will look like. And you can too.
Life after COVID 19 is a blank slate and you, my friend, are holding the paintbrush.
If you just rolled your eyes and said, “but what about xyz,” then you’ve put your reality and the control of your future in someone else’s hands. So, let’s just reel that thought back in for a hot second and remember that the only way to predict our future is to create it.
Don’t get me wrong, it will not be easy to challenge societal norms and to set boundaries in a way that best serves you and your family. This pandemic has proved that the societal norms that we once lived by were not an absolute truth. It is up to us as individuals to determine which aspects of the old life we want to bring back, and which ones we want to leave in the past so that we can create space for happiness, peace, and fulfillment in the future.
So, where do we start?
Learning and growth come from understanding our experiences and then making changes based on what we’ve learned. So, creating the future we want starts with the very basic choice to reflect and understand our experiences during this pandemic, and our choice to use this self-awareness for cultivating resilience.
5 Benefits of Self-Reflection and Awareness:
It improves our understanding of context. In the moment we often only see things as one-dimensional, by taking time and space to reflect, we’re often able to see the bigger picture and pull in other contextual clues about why we reacted a certain way, or why someone else possible behaved a certain way.
It transforms our perspectives. Building on contextual clues, we’re able to challenge our perspectives and our truths. We’re able to consider different points of views, and perspectives. Something we labeled as “bad” in the moment could have multiple aspects of good, only brought to light through further reflection.
It deepens our understanding. Our default reactions are directly related to our basic needs and core values. Reflection helps us dig deeper to understand what is going on beneath the surface. What need is or isn’t being met, what core value is being honored or crossed? What happened in my past that could be triggering my current response pattern?
It helps us process emotions. There are ~34,000 emotions according to positivepsychology.com. As humans, it’s only normal to bounce through all of them. Self-reflection helps you understand and make peace with our emotions and why we’re feeling them, so rather than fighting our joy, sadness or anger, we can accept them, honor them, and then choose emotions that would better serve us in the future.
It strengthens relationships. If we understand ourselves better, we’re able to show up more fully in our relationships. We’re able to confidently stand in our own skin, communicate our personal needs and values and fully listen to the needs and values of someone else without feeling crossed or judged.
Even if you’re not typically a big into journals, taking time to reflect on what is going on in your life right now is crucial to painting the life that you want to live after COVID 19. Writing down your reflections will help you start to identify trends in your thought patterns and behaviors which, for this exercise, will become the basis for life after COVID 19.
So, in whatever way feels most authentic to you (journal, memo field on your phone, a sketchbook, or post-it notes), set aside a few minutes each day to reflect on what is happening in your life right now.
Pictured here is a basic reflection model designed by Graham Gibbs that could be used, or I’ve included some basic prompts below. Use the one(s) that work best for you!
What did you learn about yourself today?
What did you experience today that brought you joy, happiness, or peace?
What did you experience today that brought you fear, sadness, or grief?
What aspects of your old life do you miss, and why?
What aspects of your old life are you grateful to leave behind?
What aspects of quarantine (or today) would you like to carry forward into your new life?
What are you grateful for today?
If there is something that is weighing on you, take time to reflect on why. (Good place for Gibbs' model.) Also, consider other perspectives. What could make the situation better? What could make it worse? What’s another way of looking at it?
If something happened today that caused you to respond in a way that didn’t feel authentic, or in a way that caused an “icky” feeling of resistance or anger in your gut, why do you think you responded the way you did? What triggered your response? (Look inward at values that were crossed, don’t point fingers.)
If you take time to truly reflect and understand at least a few minutes each day, I promise you that you will have greater clarity around things that you’d like to carry forward into life after COVID 19, and awareness to the things that you’d like to leave behind. I promise that this practice will enable you to cultivate resilience so that when the "hustle" returns, you will be able to approach it with a stronger mindset and the ability to set boundaries and prioritize what is important to you.
A final note about the tacky beach sign. That sign has been updated by two other beautiful quote signs that sit patiently in the corner of my office waiting to be hung. These signs read “Follow Your Own Path,” and “Live the life you’ve always dreamed of. Be fearless in the face of adversity. Never stop learning. Use your imagination whenever possible. Recognize the beauty that surrounds you. Remember where you came from, but never lose sign of where you are going.”
So, my dear friend, whatever quote you need to lean into right now for motivation during this pandemic, know that you have the power to create the future of your dreams if you choose to.
Your life after COVID starts right now, so grab a paintbrush, and get painting.
Interested in working with me? Head over to the Work With Me page and schedule your free coaching exploration call today!
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